It hasn't always been an easy road. I think some people, myself included, have an ingrained penchant for pessimism and thrive on sadness. I have battled with this for a few years now. That's not to say that I'm always melancholy, I have many happy moments, but I have a really bad habit of being not only pessimistic, but also, and in a strangely macabre way, a bit of a doomsayer. I have been trying to overcome this of late. It seems, though, that the harder I try, the worse I am at being happy. When I'm not really "working on it", my optimism appears higher and I can cope with life a lot easier. I'm learning to take it one day at a time.

One of the things that has helped a little has been the conscious effort to TRY not to be involved in malicious gossip around my workplace. Yes, I do join in on the "what this place really needs" discussion, but I am making a real attempt at not saying anything that might hurt another if it got back to them, and I have also tried to steer conversations into a "let's try looking at the other side of this person" subject. This not only helps my mind stay somewhat positively focused, but it also keeps me from suffering the effects of bad Karma. It doesn't hurt my Muslim co-workers, either! (I was remarking only today to Magicklady that I consider myself somewhat of a Muslim witch, so I am not trying to be rude about my fellow teachers...in case you were wondering.)

I feel that Goddess is trying to teach me that bad words about others is no different than uttering a curse or a spell against them, and as this is not what I would want to do to another, not necessarily because I will suffer the karma, but rather, it's simply not nice, I would like to curb the habit altogether. It's not easy to kick the gossip habit, but little by little, I will do it, and I think that my life will change because of it.  In fact, it has already changed a little.  I feel much happier about myself, which in turn makes me simply happy.